This year one of my goals was to get out and do more. Just anything as long as it was more.
I am incredibly introverted.
I believe that I have been using my introversion as an excuse for my social anxiety.
According to google social anxiety is…
…also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others.
Let me give you a few examples of some of the things I might go through in a day….
- I will struggle to walk down a main street in the city by myself. I am not scared of getting mugged, taken hostage or being pushed to the ground in some kind of fuss. No my worry is far more simple -someone might talk to me or look at me. Yip, I will walk down a street and be casting sidelong looks at everyone around me. I will scrutinize their looks and see if the are judging me.
- Going into a shop and having to ask for something. Before I go anywhere where I might need to ask someone for something in particular e.g. a new eftpos card. I have to practice what I want to say in my head before I go in or I will convince my partner that he can ask for me.
- The staffroom at work is my worst nightmare. I am a hermit in my classroom who uses classwork as an excuse not to go in. I hate large groups of people and I am constantly worried about what people are thinking and double guessing everything that I am saying/have already said.
To many these problems would seem minimal or silly. I have been told just to suck it up and get over it. That I shouldn’t be worried that I am just shy but the problems go deeper than that.
This year my goal is to do more… I will get there but I have to become a lot more confident in myself. I will be using this blog as a way of discussing the things that I am doing to help. Keep your fingers crossed for me
P.S. there is a support group for people with anxiety. I find this ironic.